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What’s your Literary IQ?

We’re not talking about how many Dickens heroines or Joyce allusions you can name in under 60 seconds. But we all know, or at least suspect, that great writers draw on much more than their own experiences – enter any number of unbelievable books, stage left.  So how great a reader – in breadth, depth, and quantity are you?

This month’s challenge is simple: Read something (or 30) guaranteed to make you rethink, reexamine your philosophies on life and your place in the world, or just what you plan to eat for dinner tomorrow. (Only kidding. We think.)

Answer the questions/thoughts in each day’s post with something either currently on your “Should Read” list or borrow one of ours. And as always, where posts spur written inspiration, feel free to share.

Happy Reading!

Task: Create a Conflict

From C.M. Mayo’s Giant Golden Buddha – and 364 More 5-Minute Writing Exercises

Today’s exercise is courtesy of Robert Giron, a poet, writer, and translator who lives in Arlington, Virginia.
Find a short article from a newspaper that deals with some kind of conflict but then change the facts of the information given and write a short paragraph placing the person (one you create from your imagination) in a
situation with one of the following:
1. a dialogue involving the person and another (one you create) in the conflict (however, do not use any information found in the article);
2. describe the scene of the conflict (however, do not use any information found in the article).
Remember that you are merely using the article to trigger your imagination, rather than simply reshaping the article.
——

When it finally snapped inside her, she had no warning. A pulsing, frantic, fiery river of anger exploded somewhere in the region of her ribcage and raced through every inch of her body. She felt it break across her neck and face, leaving a scarlet trail in its wake. Her body physically trembled with the force of it. To others, she knew, she looked quite mad.

“What are you staring at!” she snapped. Unable to keep her tone level, she gave up altogether at the end, and the last syllables, high-pitched and blunt, sliced through the air.

If the kiosk clerk – a short, elderly Asian woman with stale bright pink lipstick and dark hair graying at the temples – was surprised, she hid it well behind the narrowed brown eyes visible only through the mirror on the corner of the booth. Caught, the woman shuffled out into view again and came to stand awkwardly in front of Jana. She put one manicured hand to her hip and gestured with the other to the shelf of brightly colored trinkets on display.

“Can I help you with something?” she offered curtly, the small smile on her wrinkled lips doing little to disguise the expression in her shrewd eyes.

Jana looked in those eyes and suddenly hated nothing more in the world than this woman. In a flash she had dropped the crystal swan she’d been considering moments earlier as a Christmas gift for Brent’s mother and turned to face the clerk.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing,” she accused, her anger so thick she could taste it behind her teeth.

The clerk stared at her defiantly for what seemed like minutes. Finally, she tilted her head slightly, as if acknowledging the game they’d both just stopped playing.

“You think I don’t see you following me around, watching everything touch?” Jana spat. “You do this with everybody?”

Dimly, she was aware that a group of shoppers to her left had slowed their pace enough to take in the conversation. One, she saw, had stopped altogether.

“You’re not slick. You think just because I’m black that I’m gonna steal from your rinky-dink little cart?”

The clerk raised one eyebrow. “Would you like to buy anything, ma’am? If not, please go.”

Jana didn’t know which word pissed her off more. Her eye sockets burned with the fierceness of her glare and she clenched her teeth so tightly that a sharp pain shot through her jawline. She felt the weight of her anger center in her chest, so hot and bright that she felt it must be visible through her sweater and jacket. Having made its rounds through her body, there was nowhere left for it to go but out. The feeling was both unbelievably empowering and terrifying. At that moment, she was capable of anything.

She raised her own eyebrow to match the clerk’s, and lifted a hand to the display shelf where dozens of the tiny crystal creatures sat quietly. Innocently. She chose a panda holding a bright red rose. The crystal caught the light of the display case, shimmered and cast a spectrum of color across the floor. Jana released the panda, smiling as colors collapsed in on themselves, disappearing just before the figurine smashed to the floor.

The security guard was there before either of them could say another word.

WWLD Guide #33: How to Get Over a Regrettable Myspace Obsession (pt. 1)

Readers,

I recently received the below from an old friend struggling with that oldest and most disappointing of temptations, the Illogical Myspace Stranger Obsession. This dear girl, having suffered in near silence for months, is finally showing a desire to take the necessary steps for recovery. Please join me in congratulating her and wishing her every success with the prescribed path away from Cyber-stalkerville.

Ever,
L

—–

Dear L,
Remember the guy from myspace I told you about (last year) that I was feeling particularly guilty over after not speaking to him (after several run ins) and deleting him from my friends list?? Lol… Well, I moved on not long after that conversation and haven’t really thought of him since; but last night, while half-heartedly attempting to study, he randomly popped in my head and the guilt is starting up all over again. God, I just wish I talked to him at least once…but I didn’t and I won’t get that opportunity again (you ever get to the point where you just know something is a “done deal” and the door is closed for good???). Plus, I’m sure any attempts to speak with him now would be extremely creepy (I would have to look him up on myspace and send him an email). I’m so tired of thinking about something I can’t change. It is what it is, right?? There’s nothing I can do. W.W.L.D… to help her move on??

Most sincerely,
E
——–

Dear “E,”

Today is your lucky day, as your question is eerily compatible to advice contained within the latest issue of the WWLD Guide: How to Get Over a Regrettable Myspace Obsession (any real or imagined similarity is, of as always, purely non-coincidental). In this guide, Yours Truly answers the Question of the Day in this manner:

if i don’t remember this guy, neither should you.

in short, it’s myspace. and you’re not feeling guilty, you’re feeling regret. like he’s the one that got away. when in reality, let me point out again: it’s myspace. in the spirit of recovery, i’ve concocted a series of “Get Over It Now” strategies, some of which, although drastic, just might work for you. the very next time you think about this non-issue, let me urge you to try one of the following:

a. delete your myspace account. facebook has rendered it virutally pointless, anyway.

b. slap yourself on both cheeks with a nearby object (preferrably a ladies’ afternoon driving glove). then laugh because you just look silly.

c. say the following in a loud voice, no matter who is in the room with you: “it was just myspace. we were never really friends. it was never going to be anything more. it. was. JUST. myspace.” repeat until desired reaction achieved (you are red-faced and feel rather foolish).

d. look him up. cyber-stalk him. check out all his new pics (this tactic relies on the assumption you haven’t been keeping up to date on his page). realize, mid-click, “this dude isn’t actually in my life in any substantial way, but is actually a stranger. thus, my actions are creepy and border illegal in several states.” straightaway after realization, apply solutions a-c as listed above.

e. go out and find a real man. (caution: this strategy employs additional techniques not described in this helpful How-To manual. for complete details, please purchase WWLD Guide, “How to Go Out and Find a Real Man,” in stores now.)

at WWLD, we are always interested in how our solutions play out in the lives of real people in real time. so after experimenting with the above, please provide feedback on one of our partner sites, which shall be determined at a later date.

thanks for writing. now go take on the day.

L